My Ordeal
To gild the Gold, to malign the Sun;
To bleach the Snow, and to claim Someone.
I won’t say, it is equivocal to attain,
I’ve yearned to be oblivious; to be numb to this pain.
For still I am haunted by your dreams;
Amorphous inimical fear is in my ordeal.
To rationalize the irrational is now my plight,
For it is my heart, that I’ve to fight.
And to live each day with your own blight,
Still smirking in day, though dying each night.
It’s mind and heart who reason this flame;
Still seasons and weathers I win this game.
As thinking of you, I shed my defense
Despising you is my pretense.
So I preen up myself, making a fence;
Still yearning for you till Life makes Sense.